Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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