i just made my gag reflex go away.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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