a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
so much tequila, so little girl.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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