Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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