Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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