we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
