Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
