yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
