Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
