my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Everclear isn't food dammit
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
