My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
