I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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