I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
