I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
