I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
