Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
