The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
