She's JV to your varsity
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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