every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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