You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
