i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
