Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
