He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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