i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
