then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Blood and glitter go together right?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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