just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
