Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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