You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
