If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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