How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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