Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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