Define "chronic" masturbator.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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