I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
