Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
