He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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