I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
