I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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