do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
