Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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