Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
