Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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