We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
