I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
