Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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