I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
