this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
