he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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