dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
