My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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