The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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