My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
