you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
